Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Why I haven't been blogging


Hello, blog. Remember me? Well, I haven't forgotten you, even though my absence of more than a year   seems to prove otherwise.

I came here today to post something entirely different. I noticed I left the above photo in my drafts. The date on the post is June 18, 2012. I guess I must have gone to a library book sale. I guess I had intentions to post it. So here's the photo. I haven't read any of those books in that photo. I don't even know where they are right now.

This blog started as my little scrapbook of photos of the books I'd acquire at the library book sales I obsessively attended. Though as a result of not being able to read as quickly as I can scoop used books into a Disney tote bag, looking through this blog got really depressing. So many books, so little time, etc.

There were a couple reasons I left this blog hanging last year, and it started with struggling with a long illness in the spring that kept me unmotivated to complete anything other than schoolwork. I got better, but struggling with some minor injuries in the summer, combined with weeks of time off from work and school, led to ennui. At one point last summer I wrote on a post-it a list of reasons "why I haven't been blogging."

I don't have that post-it anymore. But I know I wrote some self-deprecating things on it about no one wanting to read what I had to write anyway. I love reading blogs, but I continually feel dwarfed and amazed by some of my favorites. I concluded that to read and support blogs must be better than maintaining my own. I also have tons of admiration for those who can stick to a regular blogging schedule. I can't even stick to a regular feeding schedule.

Last year, I made a ferocious return to personal journaling and letter-writing and poured my energy into tactile art and writing. Getting on the internet to post something became a bit of a slog when I could just tweet a shortened version of what I was thinking or quickly snap a picture of what I was working on.

In short, I am very lazy.

Though I have a passion for books, I never wanted to be a blogger that writes book reviews (though I do write reviews on Goodreads when I have the time.) This blog was conceived as collage of my book collection. But now as I have more control over my book spending (read: I'm broke), and my collection thins out more as I don't see as much need to own so many damn books, I am left wondering what the hell I should do with this little mermaidpants-flavored space on the internet.

So. As much as I'd love to prevent them from happening, I've had thoughts. Thoughts I'm embarrassed to have, but thoughts that seem to want to go somewhere. Here. So this post about non-blogging, I guess, has just been subterfuge. A long-winded way to say, sorry, but I think I might blog again.

2 comments:

  1. I'm reading! :) I signed up to get notifications by email, so I won't miss a post!

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  2. I am constantly amazed at blogs that seem to post daily, too--there's a lot of ambient pressure to perform in a certain way, but honestly I think the best way to blog is to do it when you want however you want! There's so much more freedom and enjoyment in doing that. I'm glad you've resolved to write about whatever strikes your fancy. :)

    Wendy @ The Midnight Garden

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